Viagra Ad. I love this.

So now that it's in-market, I can tell you. My team has created an ad for All You magazine that is on newsstands at Wal-Mart this week! It's the first execution of its kind, so for testing purposes we only executed it in 16 states -- but I think those states include most of you.

It's an ad for Bounty, including a full sheet sample. It shouldn't be hard to find - the magazine nearly falls open to that page! If you think about it next time you're in Wal-Mart, check it out.

The best part is all the "spills" listed on the page (being sucked up by the paper towel). There's a spill for every letter of the alphabet and some of them are quite creative.

Anyway. I know I'm boring you with work junk again. Maybe I'll have something fun tomorrow....

................God love Jazzercise. As far as I'm concerned, Jazz has two primary benefits.

1. Jazz helps me get rid of my day. Every ounce of tension that may build up throughout my day - gets released at Jazz. Well, maybe not every ounce -- but it definitely lessens the burden that my sweet husband would otherwise have to bear. I have tried to work out first thing in the morning - I can't do it. For one, I don't particularly enjoy exercising. Secondly, I have no fuel - no drive. I have to have something to work out. 

2. Jazz usually wears me out completely. I have had much trouble sleeping - in the past - and Jazz uses everything I've got in me after work so that I have just enough to go tan, go home, eat an apple, take a shower (maybe), and crawl to the bed. Sleeping is much easier.

Oddly enough, the health benefit is secondary at best.

..........................So. I get to see all of my family in the next 10 days. ALL of them! We are going to Arkadelphia for Easter and San Antonio to celebrate Tom being home, Laura's birthday, and Mom's birthday. (And Jeff's big news, that I'm probably not supposed to mention...) I am excited to see everyone and should have fun pictures for you after we get back from the big trip.

...............................................I am tired of my computer and my phone fighting over what time it is. Outlook has been screwed up for weeks and all my meetings and reminders are wacky and off by an hour. My phone doesn't know what day it is... I can assure you, Powers-that-be, that I would rather have 3 weeks of darkness than 3 weeks of inconvenience.

So I had the best Fun Friday activity EVER and no one was around because of Spring Break! Which is probably for the best considering what I posted was probably illegal and against at least one confidentiality agreement... Anyway, it's gone now -- so if you missed it I apologize.

My latest irritation -- and it's a small one. These commercials that start out describing this luscious meal of salmon in a "delicate sauce" served with greens and yada yada. And then they carry the plate out of the kitchen and give it to a cat! It grosses me out. They get a shot of the cat chomping on the food with it's big fat face and they're careful to get the sound just right so you feel like you're right there... sharing your delicate salmon with a big white cat. It's a total turn-off. "Restaurant Inspired Food for Cats." Phooey.

Just had to get that out.

Ding.

Dear Readers,

I feel the need to post a retraction to my post dated March 21, 2007 - 9:08am. My intention was not to incite a riot, but rather to take advantage of a seemingly appropriate opportunity to quote Seinfeld.

Though I am rarely an expert on subjects I attempt to tackle in this space, I do know my Seinfeld. I do not, however, allege even the slightest level of expertise in the fields of meteorology or astrology.

I made the fatal mistake of trusting pop culture to provide truth—though I also used context clues such as the calendar at my desk (compliments of Procter & Gamble). After what history will no doubt refer to as “The Great Debate”, I decided that I owe you – dear readers – the truth. So I have gathered several sources with varying degrees of bias. I am in no way attempting to present certainties – rather to provide you the tools necessary to draw your own conclusions. Here goes.

• Source #1 Wikipedia: “In astrology, March 21 is regarded as the first full day of the sign of Aries. It is also the first day of the astrological year; International Astrology Day is also often celebrated on this day, though it is celebrated depending on the exact day that the Equinox actually occurs (varies year to year between March 20-21, though it usually falls on March 21).”
•  Source #2 Space.com: “Avid "Seinfeld" fans might remember the episode when Jerry’s friend, George, was desperately trying to find a way to postpone his impending Christmastime wedding with his fiancée, Susan. He finally comes up with a solution: "Have the wedding on March 21 – the first day of spring!" Unfortunately, if George had gone through with the nuptials (and Seinfeld aficionados know why he never did), he would have been a full day late. You see, in America, spring no longer falls on March 21. In 2005, for instance, the vernal equinox, the first day of spring for the Northern Hemisphere, comes on Sunday, March 20 at 12:33 GMT, or 7:33 a.m. EST (4:33 a.m. PST).”
• Source #3 www.xanga.com/Springmore: This site belongs to my Xanga-Friend and fellow blogger- Spring. After considering this issue from several angles, I realized that perhaps the most natural way to settle it may simply have been to ask Spring – whose birthday happens to fall on March 20.

I encourage you to visit these fine cyber-destinations and find what information you crave. I officially remove myself from this, “The Great Debate” and wish you the best in your quest for the truth.

                                                                                    Yours, Sarah

It never fails. The posts I think about for less than 2 seconds, those that are little more than throw-away nonsense – those are the posts that trigger oodles of comments and gads of attention. The posts of which I am most proud, those that showcase what minor literary talent I have and contain (what I consider) potential for real discussion ----- Crickets.

Possibly the most effective advertisement I've ever seen --

George: All right! All right. I'll tell you what. How about this? Got the date; March 21st, the first day of spring.
Jerry: Spring. Of course.
George: Huh? You know? Spring. Rejuvenation. Rebirth. Everything's blooming. All that crap.
Jerry: Beautiful.

Who's Benito Juarez? And why is he on my calendar - crowding out "Spring Begins"?

I'm what you might call an aggressive driver. Well more accurately, a passive aggressive driver -- can you be a passive aggressive driver? I'm all bark and no bite. I'm the impatient person behind you at a GREEN light who honks when you sit there too long. But I would without a doubt cower and run if you stood up to me.

Here's the thing. I am able to recognize the difference between driving decisions that are judgment calls and those that are unforgivable stupidity. For example, I have [slightly] more patience for drivers who make poor merging decisions or those who go [what I consider] too slow in the "fast" lane. These are judgment calls -- and who am I to judge? However, there are some things that are not negotiable. Examples of these types of things: stopping at green lights, stopping at YIELD signs, and not using turn signals. There are others.

I am not a perfect driver. I'm not even what most people would consider a good driver. I do things like drive too fast over speed bumps and run my car out of gas -- yes, that has actually happened. But I know the difference between green lights and red lights.

While I'm up here- I think that there should be regional versions of Drivers' Ed. For example, everyone I know who has completed Drivers' Education has been tested on parallel parking. Why? How many of you use parallel parking skills on a regular basis? Correctly?? That's what I thought. I, personally, know how to parallel park and if given the option - will choose not to - EVERY time. In the void left by parallel parking, the Drivers' Ed curriculum should focus on Merging Skills. Now this is something everyone uses daily! This is all-inclusive: entering/exiting the freeway, utilizing Yield signs correctly, etc. It is my personal opinion that knowing how to merge is much more universally useful than parallel parking. There can be Urban versions of Drivers' Ed that include parallel parking - but I think that's even unnecessary. Soon there will be parking lots and parking decks as far as the eye can see. Parallel parking will go the way of the typewriter and the cassette tape.

In other news: I am reading the most bizarrely captivating book -- Running With Scissors. It is a memoir of the wackiest, most non-standard childhood a person can imagine -- which I think fascinates me so much because it's as far from my life as humanly possible. I am aware that it was made into a film last year -- and I can't WAIT till I finish the book so I can watch it -- and I know that Annette Bening plays the nut-job mom so as I'm reading the book I hear her voice and it's perfect! I love her and she makes such a GOOD nut-job -- think American Beauty. I wish I had more time to read -- and I should be done in the next few days. I am abnormally anxious to know how he wraps up the story.

I had such a pleasant weekend. Saturday, I went to the 2007 Fort Smith Southside Forensics Olympiad – and had the best time. I was able to catch up with an old friend and revisit some favorite memories.

As I drove up to the school, I was overcome by a feeling of familiarity. I walked into the building and was comforted by the cliché that “some things never change”. I wasn’t scheduled to judge right away, so I roamed up and down the halls. There were students pacing – black notebooks in-hand – silently mouthing words in rehearsal for a round, partners preparing an improv scene in the stairwell, and random outbursts of showtunes. I found Balgavy – pen behind her ear, Starbucks in-hand, carrying a Harvard portfolio and upset-stomach medicine for one of her JV kids. 

We sat in the coaches lounge or the cafeteria between rounds of judging and chatted about family, friends, school, work – everything. And we talked about how, in a world in which “communication” now conjures thoughts of text messaging and Myspace – it was truly a treat to get to sit down with an old friend and talk.

It was also heartening to discover that the program I was a part of during high school – has not changed much. They have new facilities and twice as many students and new coaches – but the same person who taught me important lessons in poise, confidence and accountability – is still there. I loved meeting her students and hearing them talk about rounds or rehearsing. I loved standing in the sea of people while breaks were posted – witnessing joy matched only by reunited families in airport terminals. It was such a great day and I hope it’s not another 7 years before I get to go back.

Enough mush. J Saturday night was, of course, St. Patrick’s Day (Lonette – I thought of you ALL day!). We gathered the posse and hit Jose’s patio for some green beer and jig-dancing --

And though it looks like I was not in the spirit - I was wearing green pants!

Sunday was spent at the doctor's office for an ulcer in my eye... and now I have to wear glasses all week and put milky drops in my eyes every few hours for the next 7 days. Stupid contacts.